“I’m not even sure what I want,” you say. “That’s okay,” I say, “But the most important thing you will do in your life is figure out what you want.”
Most people don’t know what they want. They are either accepting the reality their family or culture created or they are doing the hard work of figuring out what they actually want in life. You either design your life or other people design it for you.
Think about people you admire. Copy them as much as you can or you feel you would like to. So you like the way this woman you work with wears her hair, but not how she talks and she walks? Just take the hairspiration, and look elsewhere for the rest of your presence. Maybe it’s a sign you want to care for your own hair more fully and present yourself as well as you can. Do you respect the way a person speaks? Figure out why they speak well. Listen to them or be around them as much as possible. Watch yourself speak in your own mirror. What do they do that you don’t? Record yourself on your phone. And steal the habits and practices and styles you admire.
Another way to figure out what you want is to think about who or what makes you jealous. What could you do to mimic the qualities you are jealous of or make them a part of your life? People tend to feel bad about jealousy, but it can be a very helpful tool if you pay attention to why it’s there.
People who are listening to their curiosity and following it where it takes them, are the beautiful ones. They face their fears over and over to become this beautiful. They live their lives in alignment with what they value, because they have taken the time to figure out what they value. They adjust their course when they realize their life isn’t looking quite like they would like it to.